Creating Peace

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict.” ― Dorothy Thompson

I find myself working on this more these days. I know that it is unrealistic to never have conflict. I have been stepping out of conflict situations. Instead, I am opting to listen and learn.  This alternative action or lack thereof is bringing peace to my life.

In the moments that I feel I want to respond. I take a deep breath and think about what it is that I want to say. Taking these few seconds allows me to control my attitude in the conflict. The breath calms me down if I am agitated. I am creating peace. I am choosing to my attitude. Attitude is what really makes a person react negatively.  You are also in those moments, telling the other person that you want to be cautious in what you say and do.

Choose your action and attitude.  Bring peace to your soul.  It is in the peaceful moments you hear your spirit.

My meditative life.

This morning I awoke to the alarm.  Rarely does this happen. The past 15 years I have had trouble sleeping.  I wake several times during the night. Normally I am up before the alarm. With my meditations I am finding that several nights a week I sleep through the night.  This was a very unusual occurrence for me  until last October/November.

Prior to that November time period,  I was meditating at night in bed. I know that is not how it is done. I was attempting to put my own spin on things.  I discovered that the path behind our subdivision was a pleasant walk. As I walked longer trails I began meditating and praying during my walks.  I made a point to try to be on the trail first.  I wanted to have the area undisturbed and to myself.  In the beginning, I could only walk a mile. During that time initially, I would focus on asking God for everything. I heard a sermon from Joel Osteen.  He said something like "Stop repeating the same thing over and over, God knows what you want. He just wants to talk to you." I began to just have conversations with God.  Not really asking for things. Just talking as you would talk to a friend. What does this have to do with meditation you ask?  It was in these moments that I was/am able to control my emotions, my thoughts and my breathing. All of these are components of meditation.

I can now walk four miles a day with little effort. I take the time to look up and see all that our heavenly father has created. I listen to hear the birds singing. I sit by the lake and am still. I take the road less traveled. I have learned so much about myself in the stillness. I feel like a new person when I return home. My mind is clear and strengthened. I am ready to face the day.

When I am grateful, I find my grace.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.” ― Maya Angelou

I started this tonight as I forgot about it this morning.  Periodically I join one of Deepak and Oprah's meditation sessions.  The current session is about gratitude.  

When I am grateful, I find my grace.  Yesterday I went for a walk and received this message.   I started walking the opposite way of my normal path.  I did so on a suggestion from Joel Osteen.  He had ran the same path for some 20 years.  I do not remember the details on why he changed but he did.  On his new path he saw things that he had never seen. 

This happened to me as well. I saw yards that I have seen once or twice, listened to the sound of the outdoors (not the cars and the traffic) it was the birds and the trees swaying in the wind.   It began to rain gently.  I could smell the rain and feel the humidity as it hit the pavement.  I started to go back home. I could just as easily crawl back in bed. Instead, I continued on my walk.  I did not think of the heat or the rain.  I prayed.  I am thankful to God for everyday I wake up, turning my life around, helping to reach my goals, family, friends, my business, school the list goes on and on.  Yes, I have had my ups and downs.  Nevertheless, I am living in the now and grateful for every moment. At that moment I was finding my grace.  I had no clue that this would be today's meditation.  However, it was perfect.  I ended up returning home after a mile and a half, drenched in rain and sweat.  I did not care my mind was at ease I was also drenched in gratitude. 

Today I woke up feeling off my normal beat.  I had a fever, sore throat and had a restless night.  I did not have the burden that I had yesterday.  I found myself smiling at nothing.  I sat and enjoyed a small breakfast as I reflected on the walk.  As I left the house I felt at ease and that carried me through the day.  I did not meditate until after eleven but it all came in God's time.  It made perfect sense.

I can say to you all Namaste.  Live with your heart open to the world around you.  Embrace life and do not merely exist but get out and smell the wind, listen to the wildlife be grateful for each day, person and experience. What are you grateful for? 

I deserve complete fulfillment

I heard this message from two sources in the past few days. Joel Osteen and Deepak Chopra both said this in the past few days.

Joel said, that living in faith and believing that you deserve the blessing is how you are blessed.  It may not always be the exact way you wish/pray. However, faith will bring fulfillment. I have really grasped this concept. Many have said that I have changed. Of course I have changed.  I am growing. I prayed for this change for many years. I am taking leaps of faith. I have not let a diagnosis bring me to a halt. I pray.  Simply I pray.  I know that I deserve the blessing. I am staying in faith knowing that no matter what I choose God is standing with me.

Deepak's approach is a little different.  In our desires we become fulfilled.  Desires have fulfilled my life in so many ways.  In my desire, I payed off my car, obtained my certificate in esthetics, opened my suite, built my customer base, traveled and I have lived. I used to say I wanted to do this or that. Now I don't just say it I do it.

In both are the concept of what I deserve.  I deserve success. I deserve education. I deserve to travel. I deserve happiness.  Most of all I deserve to live my life my way.  That is what sustains and fulfills me to accomplish my desires.

My desires are fulfilled from my true self.

Over the years my desires have definitely changed.  In the past, I wanted to make more money, better cars, bigger home and material possessions.  Now when I think of these things they are not as important.

Yes, of course I want to make more money.  However, the trade is that I give up truly living.

 I worked in the retail setting and worked hard.  No matter how much or how hard I worked, it was not good enough.  Politics ruled over hard work.  In my last six years I was so miserable that my health was affected.  The day I was demoted to make room for someone else was the best day of my life.  My desires changed.

I began to find the way back to my true self.  Things that I had not really done or experienced became important to me again.  I got divorced soon after purchasing a home and moved into my mothers house. I started reading.  Self help books, fiction, non-fiction and trade magazines.  My desires had come back. I wanted to learn, to grow and to do a few things on my list.

I was me again. Not what someone else wanted me to be.  My true self was alive. In my true self I found some old desires but also some new ones. There is no limit to what I can do.

My desires make me feel alive

Slept in this morning.  Woke up and completed my meditation before doing anything. This is really helping me stay focused, positive and energized.  I have been able to write every morning before getting out of bed.  Although I am faced with challenges, I know I will overcome them all. I share what is going on with me because I know I am not the only one that is working through something.

I may be repeating myself with this next statement. Nevertheless, in the last four years I have come alive.  In the past I have lived for everyone else.  I was a child of my parents, I was a wife, I was a mother, I was a wife again and then it clicked.  I was so busy being all of those people that I was not my own person.

I did a lot of soul searching when I moved home with my mom.  I was suffering with fibromyalgia.  I hated my job.  My job was actually killing me.  Three of my doctors at the time told me that I needed to cut my stress and find out what my passion was.  All this time I thought I knew. I thought I was living it.  Looking back I was so wrong.  I had stopped drawing, reading, going to the museums, attending church, traveling and all the things I love to do.  I had to start all over and rediscover what makes me happy. What do I want to do with my life and time.

This turned into my deepest desires.  I want to get my certification in esthetics, my degree in business, open my own business and travel.  I have been steadily checking these things off my list.  In May of 2012, I graduated from Chi School of Cosmetology Lone Star North Harris. I am not far from completing my degree. I have opened my own business. I have been to Vegas twice. This was a long time dream come true.  I have done several road trips all by myself. (My first trip alone ever was this past May to Dallas).  I have memberships at the Museum of Natural Science and the Museum of Fine Arts where I am on any given Sunday. I have gone to several local events.  (I would make excuses not to go in the past).

I have realized that these desires are not monetary or material. They are desires of accomplishment and education.  I have adjusted my desires each time I have completed a goal.

 People often ask how do I do all that I do. They ask where I get the energy.  The energy is in the desire. The desire to advance my mind has become my most important mantra.  I have definitely overcome the obstacles in my life.  It was not easy. Some days I want to throw in the towel. (Not often and those days I pray harder.  I also am not above asking for prayers).   The desire has made me feel alive.  I am really living my life instead of watching days go by.  No regrets here just forward motion.

My desires make me feel alive.

My desires make me feel alive.  I have repeated this to myself this morning and it is true. The desire I have had to achieve my goals has made me more alive than I have ever been.

 Four years ago the thought of working, going to school and running a business was so far out of my mind.  I came up with so many reasons why I could not achieve these goals.  I thought I did not have enough time. I did not have enough money. I kept saying I wanted to enjoy my life.  None of this was true. I could make the time. I could borrow, get scholarships or grants to pay for school. Achieving these goals has made me not only enjoy my life but I am living my life.  I realized that I am more resilient than I ever thought.  These excuses halted my desire.

I am by no means perfect.  I still have material desires.  Nevertheless these material desires come into my mind and leave just as quickly. I think them over and talk myself out of them.  Yes, I would love to have a Dodge Hellcat. The reality of that desire is that it is not practical in my life.  Gas mileage is horrible and face it in Houston we have to drive to get anywhere. I would be afraid to take it anywhere because I would want to fight the person that scratched it. I could not fit my massage table and supplies in it.  So really not practical for my life or for my budget. Unless I win the lottery.  Then the question is how would it make me feel?  Sure I love fast cars.  However, it would not help with my goals and accomplishments.  I am almost 50.  Education, working hard and having my own business have brought life to me.  I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia several years ago and was told that I would hurt every day.  Doing all these things I was told that I could not do, brought life and healing.  I am not in bed like I was four years ago. I am in almost constant motion.  I have some pain but am medication free.  These desires have done more for making me feel so alive and well.  I think I really do not have the time to feel pain.  I am so busy working for my goals and desires.  I am happy and free.