My desires make me feel alive

Slept in this morning.  Woke up and completed my meditation before doing anything. This is really helping me stay focused, positive and energized.  I have been able to write every morning before getting out of bed.  Although I am faced with challenges, I know I will overcome them all. I share what is going on with me because I know I am not the only one that is working through something.

I may be repeating myself with this next statement. Nevertheless, in the last four years I have come alive.  In the past I have lived for everyone else.  I was a child of my parents, I was a wife, I was a mother, I was a wife again and then it clicked.  I was so busy being all of those people that I was not my own person.

I did a lot of soul searching when I moved home with my mom.  I was suffering with fibromyalgia.  I hated my job.  My job was actually killing me.  Three of my doctors at the time told me that I needed to cut my stress and find out what my passion was.  All this time I thought I knew. I thought I was living it.  Looking back I was so wrong.  I had stopped drawing, reading, going to the museums, attending church, traveling and all the things I love to do.  I had to start all over and rediscover what makes me happy. What do I want to do with my life and time.

This turned into my deepest desires.  I want to get my certification in esthetics, my degree in business, open my own business and travel.  I have been steadily checking these things off my list.  In May of 2012, I graduated from Chi School of Cosmetology Lone Star North Harris. I am not far from completing my degree. I have opened my own business. I have been to Vegas twice. This was a long time dream come true.  I have done several road trips all by myself. (My first trip alone ever was this past May to Dallas).  I have memberships at the Museum of Natural Science and the Museum of Fine Arts where I am on any given Sunday. I have gone to several local events.  (I would make excuses not to go in the past).

I have realized that these desires are not monetary or material. They are desires of accomplishment and education.  I have adjusted my desires each time I have completed a goal.

 People often ask how do I do all that I do. They ask where I get the energy.  The energy is in the desire. The desire to advance my mind has become my most important mantra.  I have definitely overcome the obstacles in my life.  It was not easy. Some days I want to throw in the towel. (Not often and those days I pray harder.  I also am not above asking for prayers).   The desire has made me feel alive.  I am really living my life instead of watching days go by.  No regrets here just forward motion.